


Strict Giveaway Policy

by PrioritiesSorted



Series: Prompt O'Clock [1]
Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Crack, Fluff, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-03-27
Updated: 2014-04-08
Packaged: 2018-01-17 06:21:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,080
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1377103
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrioritiesSorted/pseuds/PrioritiesSorted
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Brienne is absolutely not interested in Jaime, Ygritte may be interested in Jon, and Tyrion is definitely interested in the cute lesbians. </p>
<p>The cute lesbians, it transpires, are interested in Brienne.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: Coffee Shop AU

“Your customer, Brienne.”

Brienne looked up from the toastie machine and groaned. _Him again._ The arrogant ass had been in almost every day for the past two weeks, ordering more and more ridiculous beverages. Some days she wondered if he did it purely to annoy her.

“Good morning, sir. What can I get for you today?”

“What do you recommend?” His smile was crooked and irritating and perfect.

“An Americano, sir?” she suggested, trying to keep the annoyance from her voice.

“Tempting, but I think I’ll go for a double shot latte with one pump vanilla, one pump hazelnut, no foam, with whip, extra hot.” _He’s definitely doing it to annoy me._

“Of course you will.”

 

* * *

 

“Tyrion have you been giving free drinks to the cute lesbian couple again?” Ygritte turned from the cash register, arms crossed, awaiting his answer.

“I’m within my rights to do that.”

Ygritte sighed, rolling her eyes conspiratorially at Brienne,

“You know they aren’t going to decide they want a threesome with you just because you give them free lattes, right?”

“Actually, it’s one free latte and one free hot chocolate. The redhead doesn’t like coffee.” Tyrion sounded almost wistful as Ygritte smacked him playfully around the head.

“That’s not the point.”

“Ah, but it is; you see, if I keep giving them free drinks, then they keep coming in here, and I get to keep admiring them.”

“You mean ogling them.” Brienne interjected, flipping the sign on the door to _closed_ and starting to lift the chairs onto the tables.

“What, like you ogle my brother?” Brienne froze with a chair suspended halfway onto the table.

“I do not _ogle-_ wait he’s your _brother?”_

“I know, I know… I’m much better looking. And if you don’t ogle him, how did you know who I was talking about?”

A chair crashed to the floor, and she winced as she bent to pick it up.

 

* * *

 

“You know, I’m in here so much I really should have some kind of loyalty card.”

“What, ‘Annoy the Manager Every Day of the Week and get a Free Beverage’ kind of thing?” Brienne asked as she added one pump of caramel and one of vanilla into his take-away cup (with soy milk, this week, he was on a vegan kick).

“Something like that.”

“I’m afraid we only give out free coffee to cute lesbians in this establishment.”

“Fair enough.” He replied, though Brienne thought he looked strangely crestfallen. She was probably imagining things.

 

* * *

 

Tyrion felt almost sorry for the boy blushing and stammering in front of Ygritte,

“Well then you know nothing.” Ygritte told him, handing him his coffee and turning to their next customer. The boy looked bewildered for a moment before slouching across the café to a seat at the window.

He was ostensibly reading a thick, black book, but almost every time Tyrion let his gaze drift over to the window seat, the kid’s eyes were fixed on Ygritte. Tyrion couldn’t tell if it was confusion or longing in his stare, but knowing Ygritte, he imagined it was both. When Brienne told him it was time for his break, Tyrion filled a cup with coffee, splashed in a dram of whiskey from the flask he kept in his apron, and sat down opposite the kid, pushing the drink towards him.

“On the house.” He said, “To apologise for Ygritte.”

“Oh, you didn’t have to- thanks.” The kid took a sip of the coffee before looking at it suspiciously.

“I don’t mean to be rude but-“

“It’s an Irish.” Tyrion explained. “I imagined you’d need it.”

“Ah.” The kid replied, glancing over at Ygritte again, his large grey eyes and shaggy black hair making him strangely reminiscent of a kicked puppy.

“You should ask her out.” Tyrion told him, “She’s only mean to the ones she fancies.”

The kid frowned.

“How does that work?”

Tyrion shrugged,

“It’s Ygritte. You’re going to have to get used to it.”

 

* * *

 

“I thought we had a strict ‘lesbians only’ giveaway policy here.” Brienne commented as Tyrion re-joined her behind the counter.

“He had a run-in with Ygritte; I thought he could use a pick me up.” Tyrion shrugged, “though that reminds me; would you care to tell me why my brother came over last night demanding to know why I hadn’t told him you were gay?”

“What?”

“That’s what I said.”

“Why does he even care?” _He doesn’t care. Neither do you._

Tyrion didn’t answer; instead, he leant his forehead against the counter, reached into his pocket, and waved the napkin he took out in her general direction. Brienne took it, confused, and opened it out to reveal a phone number hastily scribbled in blue ink, with the words “For the Coffee Wench” scrawled above it.

“Oh.”

 

* * *

 

“Well finally.” Margaery commented, nodding towards the counter where the tall barista was blushing at something the blonde man said. Sansa nodded in agreement,

“It’s a good thing the little guy keeps giving us free drinks or we would have spent far too much money in here; though I’m still a little disappointed she’s not on our team.”

Margaery gasped in faux-outrage.

“What? She just looks like she could… sweep us off our feet. Both of us. At once.” Sansa licked the last of the whipped cream from her spoon, and Margaery gaped at her.

“Well… at least now we have an excuse to keep coming here.”


	2. Full Steam Ahead

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Brienne makes a phonecall, Jaime makes her blush, and Margaery makes an executive decision.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I caved to pressure and wrote a new chapter. 
> 
> No Jon/Ygritte in this one I'm afraid but I hope y'all enjoy :)

Brienne’s hands were absolutely not shaking as she dialled the number on the napkin. She had been shooting the scribble sidelong looks all evening, but it was only when the phone actually began ringing that she realised she had no idea what she would say if he picked up. _If it’s not the number of a pizza joint somewhere, if he and Tyrion aren’t laughing themselves silly at my expense. Why am I doing this? This is ridiculous, I’m going to-_

“Hello?”

The sound of his voice took her aback, and every possible greeting fled her brain.

“I have a name, you know.” she said eventually.

For a second there was only silence, then he gave a low chuckle.

“I really didn’t think you’d call.”

“That makes two of us. Especially since there is more than one person who bears the dubious title of _Coffee Wench._ ”

“Yes but I haven’t spent the last several weeks flirting with the ginger one.”

“Oh that’s what that was? And here I was thinking you were just trying to irritate me.” Brienne was surprised at her own boldness, and put it down to the absence of his horribly attractive smirk.

“It worked, didn’t it?” _Gods, he’s even smug over the phone._

“The flirting or the irritation?”

“Both.”

“The latter more than the former.”

“Oh really? So you’re only calling me to tell me how _extremely irritating_ you find me?”

“No. I’m calling you because, irritating though you are, Tyrion talks about you like you’re a knight in shining armour, and…”

“And?”

_And most men wouldn’t even think to talk to me, let alone leave me their number._

“And I figured that there must be something decent in there underneath it all.”

“Decency might be a push, but I do have other qualities.” The implications were heavy in his voice and Brienne felt herself blush, grateful that she was alone in her flat.

“I’m hanging up now.”

“See you tomorrow, Wench.”

“My name is Brienne.”

“Jaime.”

“Goodnight, Jaime.”

 

* * *

 

Olenna took a sip from her espresso and raised an eyebrow at her granddaughter.

“My, but she is rather magnificent isn’t she? I say full steam ahead, if I was your age I’d-“

“Yes thank you Granny.” Margaery stood up, massaging her temples and wondering what in all Seven Hells possessed her to bring her grandmother to this particular coffee shop, let alone let slip her vaguely forming plans to persuade the tall barista that she wanted to spend Sansa’s birthday in their bed.

“Hi, can I have one espresso and one latte please? Actually make that a vanilla latte – I’m going all out!”

The barista smiled as Margaery passed a silver stag to her, and she decided it was now or never;

“You know I’ve been coming here for so long I feel like I really should introduce myself; I’m Margaery.” She waved coyly, wondering if she should have gone for handshake, but equally concerned it would have been odd to shake someone’s hand as though you were business associates before inviting them to join you and your girlfriend in various unspeakable activities.

“Brienne.” She replied, apparently surprised. _If you’re surprised now…_ Maragery took a deep breath before she dove,

“Look, this is going to sound… well I just introduced myself to you ten seconds ago so it’s going to sound insane, but I’m nothing if not a dedicated girlfriend so here we go: Sansa really has a thing for you, and I know she’d be over the moon if you’d… join us one time. I know it’s _very_ forward of me and you should feel free to ban me from this establishment in future but I figured it was worth asking. You don’t have to answer right now; here’s my number.”

Margaery smiled in what she hoped was an attractive-yet-unaggressive way as she passed over the number she had pre-emptively scribbled onto a scrap of paper. The redheaded barista appeared to be suppressing a fit of hysterics at the coffee machine, but Brienne simply stared at the paper for a moment before she stammered,

“I um… that’s very… flattering but I think I might be seeing someone?”

“You think you might be seeing someone?” Margaery giggled, picking up the drinks now waiting for her, “Honey, if it’s blondie with the ridiculous orders, you’ve been seeing someone for a while now. No worries, it was a long shot anyway.”

 

* * *

 

Brienne stood dumbstruck, holding the scrap of paper in her hand and staring straight at the cash register until she felt a tug on her apron.

“Earth to Brienne. What is _wrong_ with you.” Tyrion asked, and Brienne struggled to find the words.

“Um…”

“Brunette lesbian just invited Brienne to a very x-rated sleepover.” Ygritte explained helpfully, her gap-toothed smile huge and gleeful.

“ _What?”_

“Yep. You’ve been getting it wrong this whole time, Tyrion; making them pay for their drinks is clearly a turn on.”

 

* * *

 

It took Brienne almost half an hour to fully compose herself, only to hear the little bell above the door tinkle as Jaime strode in. He leaned casually against the counter and grinned at her. Brienne raised an eyebrow,

“And what can I get for you today?”  
  
“Oh I think a cappuccino should do the trick.” Brienne’s eyes widened as she hissed,   
_  
“I knew it.”_  
  
“Knew what?” His face was the picture of innocence, and if she were not deeply professional, she would have slapped it.   
  
“You know bloody well what – I’ve been making bloody ridiculous concoctions for weeks now and do you even _drink_ them?”

“On occasion.”

“Do you have any idea how tempted I am to drown you in extra hot soy milk?”

“You’d be down a date if you did.”

“Oh, I think she’s had some considerably better offers.” Tyrion piped up; once he’d got over the initial shock, he had become very insistent that Brienne take Margaery up on her offer, Jaime be damned. “Personally, I’d definitely pick a pair of beautiful lesbians over your conceited arse.”

“ _WHAT?”_ Jaime exclaimed, and Brienne shushed him insistently. He ignored her and turned around to look at Margaery and her grandmother; Brienne silently prayed for the ground to swallow her whole.

It took her considerably longer than it should have to explain to Jaime exactly what had occurred, partly because she kept tripping over her own tongue, and partly because she kept having to wrench his face back to her as he glanced around to look at Margaery. It didn’t help that he seemed intent on distracting her, pushing a loose strand of hair behind her ear as she blushed and mumbled Margaery’s parting words.

When she was done, Jaime’s smile was broad and his eyes sparkling with mischief. He pushed himself up to lean over the counter, and pressed the lightest of kisses to the corner of her mouth.

“Well that’s very enlightening,” he breathed, his mouth still within kissing distance of her skin, making her shiver, “but it still doesn’t explain why that little old lady has been glaring at me like I just murdered her cat.”


End file.
